Do Or Die
by LiliaCupcake376
Summary: "Every other part of my body was on fire. And I knew ... This was it." When Special Agent Cammie Morgan goes on a fatal mission she knows she might not come back but what she doesn't know is that her shadow will do more than just follow her. T, C/Z.
1. The File

Do Or Die

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that appears in Ally Carter's books. Anything you generally don't recognize, it's mine.

Summary: "Every other part of my body was on fire. My limbs were trembling so much it was like they were on vibrate. My whole being was convulsing and burning except my heart. My heart was quite miraculously still pumping at a normal pace. Thump, thump, thump. Why? I opened my eyes and saw … green. Oh right, that's why." When agent Cammie Morgan goes on a fatal mission she knows she might not come back but what she doesn't know is that her shadow will do more than just follow her …

A/N: too excited! Just starting story! Please review! I want some feedback so I can post the next chapters in good spirits!

Thank you avadianne, lilybetrox and ChameleonxBookworm for giving such amazing feedback for their thoughts on this story! You guys rock!!

Enjoy!

Lilia !*!

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I fell asleep knowing my fate.

I accepted it a week ago when the Director told me of my mission.

I had simply put my emotionless mask on and nodded.

I was devastated for a moment when the Director told me my partner, my lifeline, wouldn't be accompanying me. I nodded. I knew that even though my partner would take a bullet for me, I also knew what she has waiting for her at home. I knew that her new husband, a best friend of mine, would go crazy if she went on this mission with me.

I knew why she pulled out; I also knew that soon she would have another person to protect.

I looked at her when she learned that she was pregnant and I was truly glad for her. Not only was she having a baby and that she would have her husband to share her joy with. No, I was essentially happier because I knew that she was going to stay safe. After all, you only want the best for your sister.

I tuned back into what the Director was saying. _Come on, just say it,_ I thought to him impatiently.

"Now, Miss. Morgan you have to understand to this mission is very top secret. It is extremely dangerous, by your standards, to even accept." I refrained from rolling my eyes; _He thinks I would give this opportunity up?_

The Director looked at me for a moment then sighed and said, "Because this is a D.O.D. Mission, coming back alive would be a miracle."

_Ah,_ I closed my eyes and let it finally sink in and hit home, _there it is._

I opened my eyes to see the Director looking remorsefully at me. I smiled at him, "Thank you", and left, the case file clutched in my hand.

I had left Gallagher Academy knowing this day would come; now I needed to go back one last time.

I went to see the headmistress of Gallagher, my mother. She knew, she knew it was a D.O.D. And yet she looked at me like she always used to, a mother but still she treated me like a Gallagher girl would none the less. I asked if she knew anything of him. No, of course she didn't. I left then, sad I was leaving my mother and angry at him again. Like I had been for the past 5 years.

Five years. One thousand eight hundred and twenty five days. Five years of silence. We both graduated together as a couple, with honours and global job propositions. Instead of the proposal I expected I was handed a mission file and words on evapopaper that said, 'it won't work out any more'. I almost died that mission. I deliberately made mistakes. My partner kept me going. She said he wanted to know if I was okay. I remember crying, for days, when I said 'No!'

Five years of deadly missions, narrow escapes and 12 critical injuries. This is what I heard the Director say was the 'Last Stand', whatever that meant.

I knew it was a D.O.D before he told me because my other best friend hacked the CIA HQ database and told me. She cried.

I left my empty, lifeless apartment knowing I wasn't going to return.

I stared at the door, so like mine, and sprinted away forcing myself not to turn back. I left both apartments knowing I wasn't going to return to them. Ever. Although when she left this last one, the occupant inside knew different.

I arrived at HQ where my colleagues wish me luck and let me know that they will pray for my safety. I turn to one man, punch his shoulder, smirk and say, "Don't pray for my safety" his face fell, "Pray for _theirs_".

I boarded the plane and waited.

I will fight;I will bring down as many as I can. I will fight as my father would. As I now know he did. I will die a spy's death. Not a hero's death, filled with lost hope, not a saviour's, filled with despair and abandonment. A spy's. Because no one will remember my face when I walk by. That's the life of a spy. We are illusive; we die invisible to the world. That's my life. That is how I will die today. This is what I was trained for, to die invisible defeating the enemy.

Chameleon out.

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A/N: Hey! There's nifty little green-ish grey button down there that says 'Review', click that and tell me your after-thoughts on my first GG story.

Remember, sneak peeks if you review!!!

cupcakes,

Lilia ~*~


	2. The Past & Present

Do Or Die

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that appears in Ally Carter's books. Anything you generally don't recognize, it's mine.

A/N: Wow, chapter one was such a hit!! I'm so glad!!! thank you to all reviewers – they all got Sneak Peeks so you'll probably recognize those bits. And the Anonymous reviewers without an account – you missed out on the Sneakie … ah well.

Thanks everyone! On with chapter 2!

Cupcakes(with icing) forever!,

Lilia ~*~

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I woke up knowing today was the day.

I knew that she would accept the mission. I knew it was classified as a D.O.D. And I remember watching her walk past me with the mission file. I saw her spy face on, I knew she was hurting – all I could do was watch her walk away from the Director.

I wanted so badly for her not to go, not to die. I wanted so desperately to see the girl that I loved; not this stoic, stone-face spy in her place. I wanted to hold her and make drop the mask of indifference.

But I couldn't. I haven't contacted her in 5 years. Five years of watching her in the background. Five years of protecting her on missions. Five years trying to find the courage to tell her.

I was there on those 12 missions she was critically injured. I killed the person who had hurt her.

She was unconscious, she was losing blood, so much blood, and I had signalled her partner to come to her aide. I had kissed her forehead and slipped a note into her jacket pocket. I left when I heard her partner approaching. I watched as the helicopter lifted her to safety. I relaxed. Until the next time.

Each time she was injured I did the same ritual. Call for back-up, kiss forehead, leave the note, hide. Call for back-up, kiss forehead, leave the note, hide. Later on the plane ride back, be assured that she is safe and then, finally, relax. Over and over. Until the last time - the twelfth time.

She was shot in the artery in her right thigh and her upper left-hand side shoulder. She had run at least a block before catching up with her target and then collapsed in the alley after she shot him. A whole block she allowed her blood to pump out of her body. She was losing blood and fast. I had torn my shirt for a strip of fabric to lessen the blood flowing out of the wound in her thigh and a wider piece to tightly cover her shoulder wound. Her team of 5 were 15 minutes away.

She opened her eyes while I was roughly adjusting the bandage on her thigh. She couldn't seem to focus on my face and I didn't dare speak because she may recognize my voice and she would stress herself. Which would result in a more violent pumping heart, higher blood pressure and more blood flow. Plus, I couldn't even bring myself to speak.

Her eyes focussed for a moment on my eyes then instead of the frantic look in her features, I saw them soften as she attempted a smile before she whispered hoarsely, "I knew you'd come … Shadow." Then she fell unconscious again. I smiled at her old nickname for me. I wondered if she'd remember seeing me. I slipped another piece of paper into her pocket with the exact same message and kissed her 4th finger on her left hand.

Her partner said behind me, "I think she would have physically died tonight had you not been here. When we had our first mission … afterwards and when she got the first note – I knew that she was dying or already dead on the inside. I hear her at night, screaming and arguing with the spy in her and the lost, broken girl that is buried. Why? It's been 4 ½ years!"

By this time I was looking into the injured girl's face, her sister's words pounding in my head. Her sister's normal, native accent was back. I was trying to ignore the stinging in my eyes. I looked up at her from my position – kneeling at my love's side.

"I know. They tell me I should stop going on her missions, but I can't. I can't just sit around waiting for the news that she's MIA or K-KIA!" my voice cracking at the last acronym, "I would rather sit here and watch her," I took a deep breath, "go instead of hearing it from someone – or even worse, from the recorded comms conversation, Bex! I need to protect her. If I can't be with her I need to at least protect (her) in anyway I can." I finished in an emotion filled tone.

"You better get going Zach, you have 3 minutes before Jackson and the rest of the team come" Bex's spy face informed, "Everytime she wakes up in the hospital she cries because she says she imagined you saving her. Then she finds the note and cries more."

"She saw me this time. She smiled and called me 'Shadow'. She definitely saw me."

Bex blanched with shock and then glared menacingly at me and said in a deadly soft voice, "You are going to be the death of her."

I wiped my eyes and looked down at her, "I know, and so should she. You do too."

Bex wiped her eyes and said tiredly, "Go Zach, 30 seconds."

Then I ran.

I became invisible, a shadow, my duty was done and now it was time to play the waiting game. I prepared myself to wait and worry, to wait for the next time. The Director told me personally after he commented on my 'extra missions' that her last one will be a D.O.D. I'm scared for her because the Director told me, when I got back to base, that she saw me and for the first time in history (I'm pretty sure) he looked at me with kindness and said, "It'll be her _last_ one. Maybe she should have a shadow … perhaps."

Although I'm scared and worried for her I disappear once again. Only coming to her aide when I'm needed most. Because that's the life we lead.

Shadow Out. For now.

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A/N: SO my love-er-ly readers, you like? If so, REVIEW & Comment!

Hope you enjoyed! Hope fully chapter three will pop out soon!

Yours in writing,

Lilia ~*~


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